Actually...

I'm not racist, but some things at my place of work go beyond mere coincidence. Whenever I get a call about difficulty with software that we've never heard of, or assistance compiling, or basically programming UNIX, it's always an indian person. And because of our shitty phones, I can never get their usernames right. They always have the same types of names too, stuff like ndbepta (a made up example.) You know how hard it is to figure out what those letters are?

The one thing that always gets me is that when these people call in, there are two things I can always count on in the start of the call. Either, they will ignore me and not provide their username, they will interrupt me in the beginning of my introductory spiel, or they will explain their situation with "Actually..."

"Actually, I'm looking for help compiling in g++. I believe that the header files are out of date after the latest upgrade to Solaris 10 and I would like that to be fixed."

Sonofabitch.